Archive for the ‘ FML ’ Category

Trink, trank, trunk.

Got a text from one of my oldest, dearest friends (who left me here to rot over the summer – may have to rethink the ‘dearest’ part of that sentence) yesterday saying – “Jet skiing at the yacht club today with everyone today, wish you were here.” … well screw you dear boy, screw you.

Here is a photo of a tree… because I can’t offer you a picture of a bunch of beautiful people jet-skiing. Me? Bitter? … never.


Hope you have a lovely week, readers! May some kind stranger put a smile on your face today 🙂


I be pimpin’.

My face has been breaking out lately and it’s really, really disgusting. I wish I was exaggerating when I say this but by the end of a long day it looks like I’ve splashed about in a pool of olive oil. I haven’t had pimple problems since I was thirteen, you know, back when it was acceptable to have pizza toppings strewn across your face (starting a new job obviously doesn’t agree with me – perhaps I am destined to be a professional couch warmer, I’m VERY good at it and my face will remain spot-free!)

Now that I’ve started working 9-5 most days, I’m really beginning to appreciate my weekends. Honestly, all I want to do is curl up infront of the TV and vegetate for hours at a time – not that I don’t already, but I suddenly feel more deserving of it.

I wish I could convey my genuine excitement for being able to sleep in tomorrow through words (I didn’t get to today because I had a golf lesson, though we really shouldn’t go there unless you want your screen to be decorated with disturbing profanities – it actually got the point I started swearing at my father… who lives in Borneo… via SMS… yeah, that bad), but I ain’t no wizard and the use exclamation marks takes away from the relaxing connotations I wish to emanate from this post (yez, I’m totally aware of how ridiculous I sound).

It’s 11:45 on a Saturday night and I’m falling asleep.

Goodnight, world.

Love, peace and forehead grease.

Homesick Sundays


Sunday’s always, without fail, make me incredibly homesick.. and it doesn’t help that all my homebodies who are usually here have gone home for the holidays, or have moved to Paris (WHO DOES THAT?!)

I actually really, really enjoy being alone, but not having the comfort of them being a drive away makes me feel really uneasy. I suppose I’m lucky that my girls have found themselves such lovely boyfriends who are making it a point to take me out so I don’t die of loneliness haha, but they too, are leaving next week…. I should just take the plunge and buy a dog, they never leave.

… I also walked into a sliding door today.




Such a condescending little shit. Why is golf so damn hard?! The ball doesn’t even bloody move…



Dear Australia,


Warm Regards,
Sarah Baked Potato C.



My blisters are a fucking nightmare!!!


Dropped a bottle of milk in the elevator and it exploded on impact.

Hope no one in my building reads this.

That mess, it was me. And the cleaner won’t be in til Monday.

Sour milk for everyone this weekend!

You’re welcome 🙂